


Amor Vitam Est

by Titti



Category: Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling
Genre: Challenge Response, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2003-07-01
Updated: 2003-07-01
Packaged: 2019-01-16 06:08:52
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Rape/Non-Con
Chapters: 1
Words: 14,774
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/12337011
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Titti/pseuds/Titti
Summary: Harry learns of Sirius's past and his relationship with Severus.





	Amor Vitam Est

**July 31, 1998**

Harry comes down the stairs and into the newly furnished living room. He finds Severus Snape sitting properly in an armchair. Remus Lupin is sitting in its twin, a leg resting on the armrest. Sirius is lying on the couch. "How do I look?"

"Perfectly shaggable," Sirius answers.

Harry grins. "Good. That's the image I was going for."

"Where are you going?" Remus asks.

"We're going to a Muggle disco. I plan to get drunk and laid for my birthday."

"Is this exactly what you've been doing since you killed Voldemort?" Severus asks.

Harry rolls his eyes. "Now you say his name..."

"What an impertinent boy! I had hoped that you could get rid of him, Severus," the portrait of Mrs. Black says.

"He did kill the Mudblood that wanted to rule us. Some concessions must be made, Mrs. Black," Severus answers politely.

Harry gets angry. "Hey, I have every right to be here. Unlike you. What are you doing still here?"

Sirius sits up and stares at his godson. "He has as much right, Harry." Before he can be interrupted, Sirius continues, "Remember I told you that Severus and I have a complex relationship. Well, let me tell you why?"

"Perhaps I should start," Remus says. "It started after your fifth year..."

* * *

Harry wasn't surprised to see Remus Lupin in his aunt's house a few days before his birthday. The members of the Order were becoming normal guests, much to his uncle Vernon's dislike.

"Hello, Harry." Remus smiled.

"Hullo, Professor. What does Dumbledore want now?" Harry asked angrily.

"I wouldn't know. I'm here for something a little more personal. I'd like to take you somewhere. I can't give you the details until we get there."

"You know, I'm sick and tired of not being told anything." Harry shook his head. "I'd rather stay here."

"It's about Sirius," Remus whispered.

Harry's head snapped up. "What are you saying?"

"Just come with me. I promise I'll explain everything."

Caution and anger disappeared the moment that Harry heard about Sirius. He grabbed his broom. "Let's go."

"Get your things. I doubt you'll come back here."

Harry grinned. "You should have said that before. I'll be ready in a moment."

Harry ran upstairs and began packing. He could hear Lupin talk to aunt Petunia, but he didn't care what they were saying. The important thing was that he was leaving. He had to admit that this summer hadn't been bad, but he needed his friends to deal with the pain of Sirius's death. He shook his head. He would not think about that now. He would just follow Lupin and see what the man had to say.

True to his word, Harry ran downstairs only few minutes later. Everything was in his trunk with the exception of Hedwig and his Firebolt.

"Let her fly to the house. I'll shrink the cage and trunk. You hold on to your broom," Lupin told Harry.

"Aren't we flying?"

"No, I have a portkey."

Harry whistled. "I thought those were too expensive to get without Ministry approval. And I'm assuming that we don't have approval."

Remus smiled. "No approval, but someone had the funds to pay for this. Let's go, Harry. The portkey will activate in a minute."

* * *

Harry looked around the house. It had the same dark ambiance that Sirius's house had. Snakes were adorning doorknobs and tapestries. The smell of dust and mould permeated the air. "Where are we?" Harry whispered.

"My house." Snape moved from the shade to reveal himself. "I trust you had no problems." He glared at Lupin.

Remus stared back, not intimidated in the least. "It went fine. Of course, there will be an uproar when they realise that I took Harry from the house."

"We'll deal with it when the time comes. For now, we have more important things to do." Snape turned around and began moving. "Come along. We have no time to dally."

They walked through cavernous hallways filled with dark framed portrays. The various members of the Snape family were scowling and glaring at the three wizards, but no one was saying anything. Harry thought that it was a fair improvement over Sirius's mother.

Snape opened a door and led them inside. The room was empty save for a pedestal in the middle. Moving closer, Harry took a better look. It resembled a baptismal fount, except it was empty. Emeralds adorned the column. It must have cost a fortune.

Harry looked at Snape with suspicion. First, the money for the portkey. Now this. Why was the man spending money for this?

Harry's eyes went back to the fount. On the flat rim, he saw three knives. "What are those for?"

"We need blood for the spell. Just a few drops from each of us and then we cast the spell simultaneously. The words are amor et vita." Snape stepped closer to the fount and grabbed a knife.

Harry shook his head. "Why are we casting this spell?"

Snape glared at Lupin. "Didn't you tell him?"

"I thought it would be easier to do it here," Remus said. He knew that Snape was well aware that it was not the reason.

"Afraid to raise the boy's hopes?" Severus raised an eyebrow. "Well, Potter, let me tell you why we abducted you from your relatives' house. I've found a way to bring back Black. Wizards pass through the veil after their death. Their spirit is supposed to go through it. But the situation with Black is different. He wasn't dead. Bellatrix only stunned him and his body fell through. I believe the spell will resuscitate him."

"That's it? Amor et vita and you expect to bring Sirius back to life."

"Avada Kedavra," Snape hissed. "Two words bring death, Potter. Why should this be any different?"

Maybe, he should have asked for the details or even why Snape wanted to bring Sirius back to life, but Harry didn't care. Snape seemed the only one to be doing something. Harry glared at Snape before reaching for the second knife. "Let's do it."

"Lupin?" Snape looked at the other Gryffindor, hoping fervently that the werewolf wouldn't back out.

"Merlin forgive us." Remus took a deep breath and nodded. "I'm ready."

"Now." Snape cut his palm. The two Gryffindors followed his lead.

"Amor et vita!" they recited in unison.

Harry looked around. It was anticlimactic, to say the least. There were no lights, no puffs of smoke. Nothing. "So what do we do, now?"

"We go home and wait," Severus answered pragmatically.

* * *

Sirius woke up. He winced as he stretched his body. He felt as if he'd fallen off a broom after being hit by a bludger. He looked around. Shit, he was still inside the Ministry building. But where were the others? What had happened to Harry? 

Sirius couldn't remember anything. Instincts kicked in. He morphed into Padfoot and carefully made his way upstairs. When he reached the street, he noticed that it was the middle of the night. The others couldn't have left too long ago.

Sirius decided quickly that as much as he despised the idea, he needed to go back to his house. He began walking toward number twelve, Grimmauld Place.

* * *

No one listened to Mrs. Black's shouting. Not because she had decided to quiet down after her son's demise, but because the members of the Order were too busy having their own shouting match. An argument that they had been having since Harry had arrived a few days before.

"You shouldn't have taken him without consulting us," Molly told Lupin.

" _We_ did what we thought best." Snape glared at her, daring to go against him.

"I don't see the problem. His birthday is tomorrow. We knew he was going to spend the rest of the summer here. What is the matter if he arrived a few days earlier?" Lupin smiled at Harry. "He gets to spend his birthday with us."

"Remus, there are reasons why Harry is staying with his relatives," Dumbledore said calmly.

"Are you implying that the boy isn't safe here?" Severus asked. 

"That's not what I said, Severus. However, you took an unnecessary risk. I wouldn't expect that from you." He hadn't intended to sound like he was reproaching the Slytherin, but the statement certainly sounded like a rebuke.

"Far from me to invade Gryffindor territory. After all, I wouldn't want to be considered ... reckless." Severus stared at the headmaster. "I assure you that there was no unnecessary risk involved."

"Can't we continue this after we get a bite to eat?" Tonks asked. "We've been discussing this for hours."

Molly looked at the woman with something akin to horror. "I will go and make some sandwiches for everyone. You can stay here, Dear. I can manage by myself," she added before the other witch could volunteer to help.

The discussion continued on the same note. Accusations were thrown at Severus and Remus, while the two tried to defend themselves. Harry sat on a chair, barely containing his temper. He was ready to scream. 

Before Harry had a chance, someone else screeched. The noise was followed by a tray falling on the floor. Then, Molly Weasley screamed at the top of her lungs.

The wizards and witches ran from their meeting room to see what had happened. They froze when they saw Sirius standing in the middle of the room. Molly was on one side, a hand clutched to her chest.

Harry was the first to come to his sense. He ran to his godfather and hugged Sirius. "You're back. I'm so happy."

Sirius looked confused, but returned the hug. "Of course, I'm back. Why shouldn't I have returned?"

Severus snorted from the back, but refrained from saying more.

Albus looked at the people present. He saw the Weasley kids trying to listen in from the stairs. "I want everyone inside that room. You-" He pointed to the Weasleys. "-in your rooms." No one questioned his thunderous orders.

As he sat, he stared at the members once more. "Who is responsible for this?" he said in a too-quiet tone.

Severus was standing, staring at the fireplace. He calmly turned. "I am."

"How could you? First taking Harry from his house, then this. What do you think you're doing, Severus?"

Severus ignored the disappointment in the Headmaster's voice. "I did what was necessary. I needed Potter's blood and presence to cast the spell."

"Wait! What are you talking about?" Sirius looked at the wizards and witches, but no one met his eyes.

"What do you remember, Sirius?" Dumbledore asked.

"I...I don't remember anything." Sirius shook his head as if trying to clear the fog in his mind. "The last thing I remember is fighting with Bellatrix."

"You died," Remus whispered. "You fell through the veil during the battle at the ministry. You've been dead for a month."

"But now I'm alive again." Sirius frowned. "How?"

"That's what I would like to know." Dumbledore stared at Snape.

"He wasn't truly dead and that's how he could come back to this plane of existence," Snape explained, leaving as many details out as he could.

"Blood magic. You know you could be sent to Azkaban for this?" Dumbledore was trying to understand. He really was, but why on earth would Severus risk prison for a man he hated.

"Rubbish. As far as the ministry is concerned, Black is alive. If he never died, I couldn't possibly have brought him back to life. The only people who know the truth are the people present and the Death Eaters. They don't know that Black is alive, nor would they say anything as it would incriminate them. I believe that as far as Azkaban is concerned, I will not face any trouble." Severus crossed his arms and dared anyone to contradict him.

"You know how much I love Sirius, but..." Tonks frowned. "...this is wrong. We can't play gods."

"She is right," Molly added. "And how can we trust you after you did this?"

"He didn't do it alone," Harry said quietly, but felt everyone's eyes on him. "I agreed to do it after he told me."

"So did I." Remus looked at Severus, but the man wasn't happy about this new turn of events.

"You want to blame someone, Albus. Blame me. I did what needed to be done and I'm not in the least sorry. As for trusting..." Snape snorted. "...I don't particularly care whether you like or trust me, Molly."

Albus closed his eyes. There was no point in continuing this. Obviously there was something that Severus wasn't saying, and Albus knew that Severus wouldn't reveal anything he wished to keep secret. The man was simply too good at protecting himself. But why would he try to bring Sirius back to life? Dumbledore sighed. "It's late. I think we should all get some rest. We can discuss this tomorrow. Severus, Remus and Harry, stay."

The members of the order left the room quietly, filtering out one by one. Sirius stayed behind as well. He leaned against a wall and looked at the other four people in the room, but his mind was elsewhere. So, he had been dead, but not really according to Snape. No one had tried to help him, except Snape. God, it was becoming difficult to sneer at the bastard.

"I'm really disappointed in you. How could you risk so much? And you didn't even consult us?" Dumbledore was saying as Sirius began to pay attention.

"What difference would it have made?" Severus asked in a hiss. "You and the rest would have tried to stop us."

"Of course, I would have. You involved a child in this. Why? Why was it so important to have Harry's blood?" Albus tried to understand.

"I needed the blood of people who love Black," Severus said in a whisper. 

Remus's eyes narrowed. "People who love Sirius?"

Severus glared at the werewolf. "Yes, love and blood guided him back to life."

Harry looked at the two men. The question was at the tip of his tongue. Why had Snape used his own blood? The man hated Sirius. But Harry refrained from asking. Snape had searched for the spell and performed it even though he knew Dumbledore would disapprove. "Does it matter? I mean who cares why Sirius is back. He is back. Snape was the one to do it and I'm grateful." He glared at the Headmaster, then at Lupin. "No one else cared enough to do anything."

"That's not..."

"I don't care!" Harry cut the Headmaster off. "You did nothing before or after. So I don't care about what you think. It's done. You don't like it, well too bad. And if you have a problem you can kick all of us from the order. Or better yet, you can all leave, since this is Sirius's house."

"Harry," Sirius warned.

"No, Sirius. You don't know what the past month was like. Hearing all these excuses, when the truth is that if they had trusted me...us... none of it would have happened." 

"Harry, look, we're all tired. Why don't we continue this tomorrow?" Remus tried to placate the boy. When he saw the defiance in Harry's posture, he added, "Sirius must be tired and he probably has many questions. Give him some time."

Harry nodded. "Fine. I'm going to bed. We'll talk tomorrow." He gave Sirius a one-arm hug before leaving, and tilted his head in Snape's direction. He left ignoring Dumbledore.

Sirius pushed himself from the wall and moved closer to Snape. Their bodies were almost touching; both men were tense. Severus closed his hand around his wand.  
Sirius stared into Severus's black eyes and said, "Thank you,' before leaving with Remus at his heels.

* * *

Remus followed Sirius in his bedroom and closed the door. He locked it and put enough spells that would prevent anyone from eavesdropping.

"What happened?" Sirius asked.

Amber eyes fixed Sirius in his place. Remus began to drop his clothes. "Later." 

Sirius chuckled. "You're in a rush?"

Remus practically jumped him, causing him to fall back on the bed. Their lips crashed as Remus tore at Sirius's shirt.

Sirius grabbed his lover's wrists. "Slow down, Rem."

Remus sat back, straddling Sirius's hips. He caressed Sirius's face. "I've mourned you for a month. I just...Please, I just need to feel you."

"Oh, I think you're feeling me all right." Sirius pushed his hips and ground his erection against Remus's arse.

"Sod this." Remus accioed his wand and spelled their clothes away. He spit in his hand and coated Sirius's cock with it. He smirked as he pushed himself down on Sirius's member.

Sirius's eyes were wide-open and his hands went to Remus's waist. "Fuck, Rem, you'll get hurt."

"Don't care," he whispered, eyes closed, and head thrown back as he relaxed his muscles to let his lover in. The pain was exquisite. It reminded him that this was real. His Sirius was here, was alive. Nothing else mattered at the moment.

Remus began to move, relishing the friction, feeling his insides burn from pain and pleasure. He felt Sirius's fingers close on his hips. He was going to have bruises, and that sounded perfect at the moment.

"Yessss." And he almost sounded like he was speaking Parseltongue as Sirius closed his fingers around his erection and began to pump him. He felt tears streak his face as he moved faster and faster. He burned as warm semen coated his irritated channel.

"God." A word whispered, a prayer and a blessing as he reached his release. He slumped down on Sirius who closed his arms around him. Semen smeared between their bodies as his tears continued to fall unbidden. 

"Rem?" Sirius sounded unsure. Remus skirted away from pain, at least in their bed, but this...Sirius felt out of his depth.

Remus dried his tears with the back of his hand as he sat up. "Sorry. It's just...you don't know how much I missed you...again. There was nothing I could do." Remus shook his head. "I was so happy when Snape told me about the spell; I never questioned him."

Sirius gently untangled the greying hair with his fingers. "You shouldn't have trusted him. You don't know..."

"Stop. Don't you even dare say that. He used his blood, the blood of someone who loves you to bring you back. I don't know what the fuck is going on in his head, but the man loves you."

Sirius pushed Remus to the side and got up. "Snape is incapable of love."

Remus sat on the bed, legs crossed as he stared at his lover. "And yet, he found the way to bring you back and used his blood to do so. I've always known that there is more about your animosity with Snape. I've never asked in the past, but I'm asking you now. What is your relationship with Snape?"

Sirius ran his hand though his hair. "Fuck, Remus. You tell me I was dead. I don't remember anything and you're questioning something that doesn't exist. Give me a break, will you?"

Remus leaned against the headboard and bit his bottom lip. "I wonder if Snape told Dumbledore about you and him," he mused.

Sirius snorted. "The man would never say a word about this."

Remus's eyes focused on Sirius. "So there is a 'this'," he said with a sad smile.

Sirius knelt on the bed in front of his lover. He cupped Remus's face. "I knew Snape before we went to Hogwarts. What happened when we were kids has nothing to do with us. I love you, Remus." He hugged his lover. "I want to tell Harry about us," he murmured into Remus's hair.

The werewolf nodded and smiled against Sirius's chest.

* * *

Harry received a note from Sirius and joined his godfather in his room. Harry was surprised to see Lupin sitting on the bed. "Is there a problem?"

Sirius smiled. "No, not at all, Harry. I...we just wanted to talk to you. Come on in and close the door. Those damned twins are probably outside trying to listen to our conversation, as we speak."

Harry chuckled. "Probably. Can't blame them, though. It's bloody boring here. Not as bad as my aunt's house," he added.

"God, I know. It's driving me insane, stuck in this house. I wish I could go somewhere."

"You did and you died." Remus raised his eyebrows and dared Sirius to contradict him.

"Fine. I was reckless and an idiot," Sirius burst out.

"I didn't say that," Remus said. "However, if you want to go out, we should plan it this time. You can't go out as yourself or as Padfoot, so we need to find other ways."

"Brilliant!" Both Harry and Sirius said together with a very similar grin.

Remus smiled indulgently. "Now, children, calm down. We still need to get grandpa Albus's approval."

Sirius groaned, then turned to Harry. "That's not what I wanted to talk about. There is something that I thought...we thought you should know."

"Great! Now, everyone decides to bare their soul." Harry crossed his arms in front of him and waited.

"I...I have a lover," Sirius said.

Harry frowned. "Who? You're always stuck in here."

Sirius looked at his godson, then looked at Remus.

"Oh? Oh! The person who loves you. I thought... you know...you were friends and that's why Snape asked him, but I never guessed. I mean it's not something I really think about, I mean, I don't think about who you sleep with...Okay, I'll shut up now." Harry slumped down on a chair.

"How do you feel about this, about us?" Remus asked gently.

Harry shrugged. "I'm fine. I mean it's not like it's any of my business."

"Of course, it is," Sirius put in. "You mean so much to me and I couldn't keep this from you anymore."

"I'm fine, Sirius. I like professor Lupin. I was just surprised."

"I think you can call me Remus," the werewolf put in.

Harry nodded. "Okay, Remus it is." He paused a moment. "I have a question. Why did Snape help us?"

Remus glared at Sirius. "I don't know. I truly don't understand the man. Do you have any ideas, Sirius?" he asked in an overly sweet tone.

Sirius wanted to kill his lover for putting him on the spot, but tried to focus on Harry. "Don't worry about it, Harry. Just remember that Snape can be a powerful ally."

"Right, when he doesn't want to kill us. I bet he feels responsible for your death. He didn't do anything when I told him." 

"That's rubbish and you know it." Sirius sighed. "Look, I don't like him, but what happened isn't his fault. He contacted us when you told him. He couldn't possibly tell Umbridge that he was helping an escaped killer. Of course, he didn't think that you would rush into the ministry building."

Remus winced. Sirius was not the most diplomatic person and had practically told Harry that he was to blame. The boy had caught on as well. 

Harry was looking down at his feet. "It's my fault. Do you think that I don't know that? It's just...Snape? Why him? Why did he have to care about you?"

"He is...Severus is a very complex man. Don't try to understand him, Harry. Just accept that he cares about some things."

"And he obviously cares about you. I'm starting to wonder if it's reciprocal," Remus stated coldly.

"Please, Remus, don't start with this. He brought me back. It's done. It's over with. Now we can move on."

"I think you should talk to him," Remus said softly.

"There is nothing to talk about. Can we just get some lunch now? I'm hungry."

Neither Harry nor Remus said more, but both knew that the matter was not closed, by any means.

* * *

"What are you doing here?" Severus didn't bother raising his head from the cauldron. Middle of the summer and he was already at work for the coming term.

"Don't you ever go home?" Remus asked.

"You've seen my house. Would you want to live there?" Severus added some porcupine quills to the potion.

Remus laughed. "You're asking the wrong person. I live in Sirius's house."

Severus stifled a chuckle. "Yes, I can see your point. However, I'm more comfortable at Hogwarts and I can do more things here. Now, what are you doing here?"

"I wanted to talk to you. About Sirius."

"Nothing to discuss. He's alive. It's done." Severus stirred the potion, still not looking at the werewolf.

"Strange, that's exactly what he said." Remus moved closer. "I was hoping that you would be more forthcoming."

Severus congealed the potion and glared at his unwanted guest. "Of course, since we're such good friends..."

"All right, I deserve that, but please..." Remus put a hand on Severus's arm. "This is important to me; Sirius is important."

Severus pushed him away. "Then, I suggest you speak to him. I have nothing to say to you."

* * *

Harry had been in the house for two weeks. With Sirius, Remus, and surprisingly Snape's support, he was now allowed to stay during the almost daily meetings. Tonight things had gone smoothly.

"Before we leave, there is one more thing," Dumbledore said. "Severus, I would like for you to continue Harry's occlumency classes."

"You must be out of you mind," Severus hissed. 

"Please, Severus, you know that Voldemort will try to get into Harry's mind more often. It's vital that Harry learns to close his mind to any outside influence." Dumbledore smiled.

"If it's so important, you can teach him." Severus turned his back to the people present.

"I can't. Tom would sense me. You're the best person available for this task."

"Ask Lupin." Severus slowly turned around. "After all, you thought more appropriate to appoint him as DADA teacher than me. He _must_ know more than I."

"Severus," Albus said calmly, "you know that there are reasons why I do what I do."

"There are reasons for what I do as well and I will not teach the boy." Severus stood his ground.

"Is this your final say on the matter?" Albus asked testily.

"No, that would be sod off, Albus." He left the room, slamming the door for good measure.

Sirius got up before anyone could react. "I'll talk to him." He scurried off and caught Severus before he could leave. "We need to talk. Could we go somewhere private?"

"I won't teach your godson," Severus replied without turning.

Sirius took a deep breath. He would do this for Harry. "I just want to talk. I promise to accept any decision you make."

"Very well. Where should we go?"

"My mother's sitting room. No one goes there."

Severus smiled without turning. "No one with sense would go in. She always had so many spells around that room."

"Of course, you'd remember that. I bet she taught you to neutralise most of them. She always did like you," Sirius reminisced. "Unlike me," he added bitterly.

"Stop the whining, Black. Should we go or am I finally free of your presence?" Severus finally turned at glared at the other wizard.

"Follow me." They walked in silence until they reached the room. 

Without thinking, Severus raised the wards that Mrs. Black had cast in this room decades ago. "Not even Albus will get through the wards," Severus said with a certain admiration toward the woman. She had been a crazy bint, full of pureblood notions, but she had a profound knowledge of the Dark arts.

Sirius licked his lips, trying to find the right words. "Snape...Severus, what can I do to make you change your mind?"

"For once, it's not about you. I can't stand the brat. He is disrespectful, he invades my privacy and he doesn't listen." Severus sat on the couch. He ran a hand on the worn velvet as he remembered sitting here as a young child, listening to Sirius's mother teaching him spells.

"I'll talk to Harry." Sirius took his mother's chair unconsciously, sitting near the Potions master. "Please if you don't do it for me or him, do it for yourself. What if Harry betrays you unconsciously? None of us can afford to lose you. And what if You-Know-Who finds a way to kill Harry? He will rule. Please, Severus, I know you can see the truth in this." Sirius covered Severus's hand with his. "Please."

Severus closed his eyes and leaned back. He stayed silent for a few moments. "You will talk to him," he finally said. "The first mistake and I will kill him myself. Voldemort would probably give me the entire school, not just the DADA position," he added sarcastically.

Sirius grinned. "I'd hate to think what you'd do to the Gryffindors."

"They would probably be dead," Severus said gravely.

* * *

The next night, Severus arrived to the house at dinnertime. Molly was walking around the kitchen. Her entire family was present, as well as Sturgis Podmore and Mundungus.

Severus stood in the doorway. "Are you ready, Potter?" 

Harry almost chocked on the meat he was eating. "To do what, Sir?"

"Your lessons. I trust the mutt told you about them."

Everyone turned to see Sirius's reaction, but the man continued to eat. He was determined not to give Snape a reason to stop teaching Occlumency to Harry.

Arthur smiled. "I knew Albus would..."

Severus waved a hand. "I have not spoken to the Headmaster. Now, Potter, I believe I told you that we have classes."

"Let the boy eat. He's so skinny. You could do with some food as well," Molly said.

Severus fixed her with his eyes. "He can eat later. I'm a busy person and I have no time to dally."

"You should be more understanding," Molly snapped back.

"And you should mind your bleeding business. Potter is not your son. He has enough people ready to take care of him without your mother-hen interference," Severus replied, uncaring of the woman's reaction.

"How dare you! Harry is -"

"He's right," Sirius said quietly, but the soft-spoken words silenced the room. He finally raised his eyes and looked at Molly. "I appreciate that you care about Harry, but I'm responsible for him. If Severus has time now, that's when the classes will be held. Harry can eat later."

Unable to stand the tension in the room, Harry stood up. "I'll finish up later. I'm ready, Professor."

"I'm using your mother's sitting room." Sirius nodded at Severus and the Potions master turned around. "Follow me, Potter."

Remus watched the two wizards go. He had followed the exchange with Sirius with interest. There was an understanding between his lover and the Slytherin that he had never noticed. Had it always been there? Had it been hidden by well placed insults?

Remus looked at Sirius. His lover put a hand on his leg, under the table. Remus tried to smile, but couldn't. He needed to know the truth about Snape and Sirius.

* * *

Harry was tired. He felt his mind ready to explode. His body wasn't too far off. He was glad when he heard a knock on the door.

"Lupin, you're interrupting," Severus barked out.

"You've been in this room for two hours. Harry must be tired," Remus remarked.

"And all of a sudden you are his fairy godmother," Severus said sarcastically.

Harry giggled. "Never thought about it like that."

Severus frowned. "The boy knows?"

"Hey, I'm here and I'm not a boy. And yes, they told me," Harry said angrily.

"If you have so much energy, maybe we should continue," Severus answered.

"You shouldn't. It's late." Sirius stood behind Remus, a hand on Remus's hips.

"Are you going to interfere?" Severus kept his eyes on the other wizard.

Sirius stared back. "No, but do you think he can learn if he's too tired?"

"Very well. Potter, get out of my sight and remember to practice." 

Harry ran away before Snape changed his mind. He was hungry and tired. He would surely fall asleep the moment he hit his bed. Something he would do right after he devoured everything in the refrigerator.

Severus watched his student leave in a hurry and he almost smiled. This hadn't been so bad. It seemed that after Black's death, Potter was taking things more seriously.

"You enjoyed it." Severus's head snapped up at Sirius's words. "Don't even bother denying it. You can't lie to me." And Severus was ready to curse that smirk from Black's face.

"Of course he can't lie to you; you're such good mates," Remus uttered.

Severus sneered. "You're worse than a jealous wife, Lupin. It truly doesn't become you."

"I don't understand you, Remus. You and everyone else wanted us to be civil to each other, and now that we are, you have your knickers in a twist."

"Nice try, Sirius. Your drama queen's antics might work on other people, but I know you too well. You're just trying to evade the subject." Remus kept gazing at both wizards. Neither was saying anything and Remus was ready to strangle both. "Get your arse on that couch and start talking, because I can't take it anymore."

"Well, I'll leave you two lovebirds alone." Severus moved toward the door.

"Don't you dare! I expect you to answer my questions as well."

Severus raised one eyebrow. "Whatever did give you the impression that I would listen to you?"

Remus stayed calm. "It seems to me that you went to great length to hide the fact that we used your blood as well. I might let slip that out."

"No one would ever believe you. Everyone knows that Black and I hate each other," Severus retorted.

"Harry will back me up," Remus pushed.

Severus threw his arms in the air and sat down next to Black. "What exactly to you want to know?"

"Sirius said that you were friends, before school." Remus watched as the two other men kept a carefully blank mask.

"Even in your incomplete knowledge of the upper crust of the wizarding world, you must realise that Slytherins only frequent other Slytherins. Since the numbers are limited, we all know each other," Severus said in his classroom tone.

Sirius snorted. "Upper crust, my arse?"

"We all had lineage, even if some might lack the money or savouir faire," was the answer.

"Yes, all our perfect upbringing used to pull Narcissa's tails."

Severus curled a lip. "She deserved it, the little flirt."

"You were just jealous that Lucius only paid attention to her," Sirius teased.

"I was only nine and I was not jealous. Beside he was just like her: beautiful, perfect, full of grace."

Sirius sniggered. "Right, and you weren't jealous."

"What are you two talking about?" Remus stood there, amazed to hear this discussion.

"Oh, right, sorry, got a bit carried away." Sirius smiled at his lover. "Well, we used to spend lots of time together, being the only boys our age. The only other people our age were Narcissa, Bellatrix and Andromeda."

"Girls, ewww." Remus stared wide-eyed at the outburst from Severus, but Sirius just started to laugh.

"We never did grow out of that, did we?" Sirius said when he could breathe again.

The moment had helped to ease the tension. Sirius and Severus were now both sitting back. Sirius had both arms running along the back of the couch. Any closer and he would practically hug Severus. Remus was ready to growl.

"As you can see, Lupin, we didn't hate each other. We actually enjoyed playing together."

"Until we started Hogwarts, that is," Sirius continued. "I was upset when Severus was sorted into Slytherin."

Severus eyed the animagus. "What did you expect me to do? You know how my father was."

"I defied my parents." Sirius was angry again.

"My father wouldn't have kicked me out. He would have killed me and no one would have blamed him. I had no choice. Besides, I wanted to be in Slytherin."

"So you destroyed a friendship because you were sorted in different houses?" Remus ventured, still not understanding their history.

Sirius and Severus exchanged a look. Snape finally shrugged in an implied consent.

"No, not really. Before we started our third year, we found out that our families had arranged for our betrothal," Sirius said softly.

Remus laughed. "An arranged marriage? You're pulling my leg."

Severus stood up. "No, he isn't. We found out that the agreement had been made when we were children, only three years old. Each family had something to gain. Even with new interposing events, it was still beneficially to both our families."

"That's his way of saying that his family made sure that he was with someone with money, while the black ship, the Gryffindor, was settled with a Slytherin of 'pure lineage'." Sirius sighed. 

"You must have hated it," Remus exclaimed. "Oh Merlin, you did. That's when you truly started to insult Severus."

"To put it mildly," Severus added.

"I...it was a magical and binding contract between our families. I couldn't break the contract without losing my powers. However, it could be held null and void if we both agreed to rescind it." Sirius kept staring at his hands. He didn't want to face either man.

"When I refused, the so-called pranks increased until the night of the Shack incident. After that, I would have rather cut my veins that be married to him," Severus said in anger.

Remus shook his head. "I don't understand. Why didn't you agree to annul the contract?"

"Why should I?" Severus lost his patience. "We were friends. We used to spend all our time together before...before he found you and your little group of Gryffindors." Severus spat the words, like they burned his tongue. "Merlin, how I hated all of you, but I put up with all of it. I figured that if I was patient, then we would leave school and it would be the two of us again. Salazar, what a fool I was."

Sirius approached the Slytherin. He put a hand on Severus's shoulder. "I'm sorry. For all of it."

Severus shook his head, but didn't look at the two Gryffindors. "I have to go. Tell Potter I'll be back on Tuesday."

* * *

However, Snape wasn't back on Tuesday. Instead, he arrived late on Wednesday, while all the members of the Order were in a meeting.

Dumbledore looked up when he heard the door open and smiled at the young wizard. "You're back. Why don't you sit, Severus?"

"I'm fine, Albus." He set a parchment on the table, right in front of the Headmaster. "This is a written report of everything that happened in the past three days. I've put a list of possible new attacks."

Albus nodded. If Severus had taken the trouble of writing everything down, Dumbledore wouldn't force him to give the details in public. There would be time to discuss it when it was only the two of them.

Severus took a seat at the far corner of the room and listened. He let the words wash over him. He didn't care at the moment. He knew that nothing these people could say would interfere with his mission.

Sirius kept glancing at the Slytherin. Something was wrong. Usually, Snape paid attention to everything, even the minimum details. Now, he seemed impervious to any and all information.

Remus bit his lip as he saw Sirius concentrating on Snape instead of the meaning. He had tried to speak to his lover after the discussion with Snape, but Sirius had refused to divulge any more information. Ten years of friendship, a betrothal and seven years of constant fighting had been condensed in a twenty-minute discussion and Remus knew that there was so much more to learn. Unfortunately, he was afraid that any discussion might lead Sirius to discover that he really didn't hate Severus as much as he claimed.

Severus stood up when everyone else did. It was finally over. Now, he could return to Hogwarts and hide in his blissfully quiet dungeon. He felt a hand close around his arm and he glared annoyed at the owner of said hand.

"Let's go to the sitting room," Sirius whispered in his ear.

Severus was too tired to fight. Instead, he followed the other man and threw himself on the couch as soon as he reached the room. He covered his eyes with an arm. Not that he needed to, since the only light came from a few candles that Sirius had just lit.

"Are you all right?" Sirius asked softly as he sat on the floor, next to Severus.

"Why do you care? I thought we established that we hate each other." There was none of his usual anger in the words, just lethargy.

"I don't know...we were friends once. I was stupid...I pushed you away because you were a link to my family, to everything I hated. I shouldn't have." Sirius ran his hand over Severus's arm and the Slytherin didn't pull away.

"You're right; you shouldn't have, but it's too late now." Severus rubbed his face with his hands. "I am a monster.'

"You're not. You're doing-"

"I fed on a Muggle tonight," Severus said calmly. "The last time it was on August 23, 1981, right before I started teaching at Hogwarts."

"I thought you didn't..." Sirius wanted to bolt, wanted to scream bloody murder, but Severus's apathy stopped him. Even as little boys, their reactions to being hurt, emotionally or physically, had always been so different. He would rant and rave, acting without thinking. Severus would cut himself off from the rest of the world, just like he was doing at the moment. "What happened?" Sirius asked quietly.

Severus shrugged. "What always happens. He gave an order and I obeyed it. I couldn't even enjoy it. My first feeding in fifteen years and I only felt revulsion."

"That's because you're a good man, Severus. You're a slimy Slytherin, but you aren't evil."

Severus smiled, but froze when he felt Sirius's lips on his forehead only to be followed by a gasp. Severus sat up. "Lupin, wait!"

Remus stood still, the light from the hallway contouring his silhouette. "I'm intruding; I'd better go."

"Stay," Severus's voice was uncharacteristically soft. "I'm the one who shouldn't be here. I'll leave you two alone." He got up and moved toward the exit.

For a moment, Sirius stepped back in time. He remembered Severus entering this very room when they were seven only to be sent away. Narcissa had insisted that only family could play and Severus wasn't family. Sirius remembered how his friend had forced the tears away, not acknowledging them even after Bella started to make fun of him. Snivellus, the very insult that Sirius had later used in school. "Don't go," Sirius whispered.

Severus tensed, waiting for the joke, the insult, but nothing came. Then, he felt a hand on his shoulder. "Stay. You should tell Remus. He could help. I wish I could, but..."

"Why should I?" Severus kept his eyes closed. This was too good to believe. Nothing good ever lasted, especially when Sirius was involved.

"He won't betray you, Severus, and you need to talk to someone other than a person you hate."

Severus covered Sirius's hand with his. "I wasn't. I was talking to you." He sighed. "You'd probably right. If there is someone who can understand..."

"Rem, close the door and ward the room. I don't want anyone listening to us." Sirius led Severus toward the couch. They sat not quiet touching, but neither was going out of the way to avoid the other.

Lupin sat on the armchair, facing both men. This was becoming a habit, one that made him more jealous every time it happened. He was starting to think that it was better when Sirius and Snape fought like cats and dogs. "What's the secret this time?" he asked without patience.

"I'm a vampire," Severus deadpanned. 

Remus stared at his lover, waiting for the joke, but Sirius stayed silent and put a hand on Severus's knee.

"I was turned when I was seven. Only my family knew. I wasn't supposed to tell; Mother made me swear on every wizard ever known. Of course, the moment I saw Sirius I told him. The only other people alive who know are Albus and the Dark Lord, who has of course shared this knowledge with Lucius."

Remus emitted a sound that was between a chuckle and a snort. "Dark creatures just love you," he told Sirius and regretted it immediately. "I'm sorry, I didn't mean it the way..."

Severus raised a hand "It's all right. We're both dark creatures, but you've never taken a life to feed your blood thirst. I have."

"No, you haven't. You've done it because You-Know-Who forced you to do it." Sirius squeezed Severus's leg. "You did what you had to because we count on you."

"Why? Why did you hate me so much for being a werewolf?"

"Besides the fact that you took Sirius-" Severus shook his head. "-I didn't hate you because you were a werewolf."

Remus frowned. "So why did you tell the students about me?"

"You wouldn't understand." Severus wondered when he had entered this strange world where Sirius Black was comforting him while he spoke calmly to the man he had considered his rival for so many years.

"Try me," Remus answered calmly, sensing Snape's inner struggle.

"Sirius knew about me. He could have used that knowledge to break the contract, but he never did. When I found out about you, I stayed quiet as well. Not because of what Dumbledore said, but because Sirius had never revealed my secret."

Remus tried to ignore the fact that Sirius was almost holding Snape's hand and focused on what the Slytherin was saying. 

"When Sirius was sent to Azkaban, I felt responsible. I thought that something I did led him to the Dark Lord. Why else would he betray his precious friends? I decided that I would repay him any way I could, which meant helping you." Severus smirked. "Yes, not exactly what you had expected."

"I didn't expect anything, Severus, because I don't pretend to understand you," Remus answered. "So, what did you do for me?"

"I invented the Wolfsbane. I told Albus about it, and he hired you. Took me years, but I finally did it. I was helping you to repay Sirius."

"It still doesn't explain why you told the students?"

"Once Sirius was out, things changed. You were once more his lover, his responsibility. I just made certain that you both stayed as far away from me as possible. We know how well that happened, " he concluded sarcastically.

"Do you know how absurd all of this is?" Remus began to pace, trying to clear his head. There was something important in what Snape had just said, besides the obvious, but he couldn't really focus on it. "Sirius knew about you, but he would rather commit murder than tell. You almost got killed to stay with him, but then spent years trying to help me. It doesn't make sense."

"We were raised with a strange code of honour," Sirius said. Although to be honest, he was as confused as Remus about Severus protecting Remus. "In a way, we were all family, all related, closely or not. We took care of our families and protected them from others, but we were always ready to kill each other."

"It really does sound strange if you didn't grow up with that mentality," Severus noted.

"Maybe it explains why we are all so screwed up. 'Cissa, Bella, Andromeda, us, and Lucius."

Severus chuckled. "At least, we didn't reproduce. Draco and Nymphadora never stood a chance."

"Harry hates Draco," Sirius said.

"See, the boy fits in the family. He wouldn't be the first one trying to kill another member." Severus looked at the black ceiling. "Sometimes, I wish we hadn't survived." 

"I didn't and you brought me back," Sirius joked.

Severus smiled. "I shouldn't suffer alone. The least I could do was make you endure the pain as well."

"Gee, how sweet of you. You had to drag my lover and my godson into it, didn't you?"

"Wouldn't want to make things boring. See, it all led to this..." Severus motioned toward the three of them. "...unexpected discussion among people that would gladly kill each other."

"There is something I've learned," Remus said quietly, almost not wanting to intrude in the intimacy between the other two "Whatever you feel for each other is certainly not hate." He got up and left the room without waiting for an answer.

* * *

September first arrived and Harry was ready to go to King's Cross Station. "You're not coming, are you?" Harry asked softly to Sirius.

Sirius shook his head. "Don't worry; I've learned my lesson. Later, I'm going to Muggle London for a bit."

"Be careful." Harry wanted to lock his godfather in a room until Voldemort was destroyed, but he knew how horrible that attempt had gone the year before.

"I will. Remus is coming with me and I've become a master of disguises. I'll be all right." Sirius hugged his godson. "Remember to use the mirror and let me know if something, anything strange occurs at Hogwarts. And remember to pay attention to Severus."

Harry looked shocked. "Severus? Since when are you on first name basis with Snape? Actually, since when are you two civil to each other?"

"Since we were kids." Harry made a very good impersonation of a house-elf with his wide eyes. Sirius smiled. "It's a long story, but I promise to tell you sometimes."

"Or maybe I can ask Snivellus," Harry teased.

Sirius grew cold. "Don't call him that. It was bad enough..." 

"Hey, Sirius, I was joking. I would never..." Never be what?, Harry thought. Be as cruel as you and my father were. 

Sirius bit his lip. "Just be respectful and learn what he teaches you."

"I will. I'll see you during the hols." Harry saw Lupin approach them. "Goodbye, Remus. Take care of Sirius for me."

Remus laughed. "I thought he was supposed to worry about you."

"We worry about each other." Harry turned toward the voices that were calling him. Mr. Weasley had obtained cars again. "I...I've got to go. Bye."

Sirius closed the door. He felt Remus's arms close around him and he leaned back. "It's nice to be alone."

Remus guffawed. "I never thought I would hear those words from you."

"If I see a redhead again, I'll scream. Or I'll just let my mother scream at them." Sirius turned around and kissed his lover gently.

"She's been quiet recently," Remus said between kisses.

"Severus spoke to her. Don't know what he said, but convinced her not to yell as much. She always did like him." Sirius felt Remus tense at his words. "Rem, don't start again, please."

"I didn't say a word," Remus replied. Then he moved away. "You've been getting closer." When Sirius didn't answer, Remus spoke again. "Obviously, he loved you enough to use his blood for the spell." Again Sirius stayed silent. "What about you? What do you feel for him?"

"Nothing, Rem. Severus and I are becoming friends again. Nothing more," Sirius said calmly.

Remus shook his head. "You might think you're telling the truth, but it isn't. I've known you for too long, Sirius."

"What are you saying, Moony? Do you think I'm cheating on you?" Sirius sounded lost. He'd relied so heavily on his friend, his lover since escaping and now everything was falling down without a reason.

"No, Sirius, I don't think that, but I believe you're using me to keep your feelings for Snape at bay. Just like you used me to scare him away or like you used me as a substitute for James," Remus said softly.

"I never...James was like a brother to me. You...I loved you; I still do." Sirius moved closer and grazed Remus's cheek with his knuckles. "Please don't punish me for what happened when we were kids."

"I'm not; I'm not trying to punish you for anything, but I won't be used, not again. I think..." Remus sighed. "You never had the chance to discover whom you want. We were together before Azkaban and we got back when you got out. Maybe you should take some time...to see what and whom you truly want."

Sirius laughed sadly. "And what? You expect me to find what I'm looking for locked in this house."

Remus 's voice was cold as he spoke. "Is that what I am? The most convenient person, the one who is here and ready to shag. I'm sorry, Sirius, but you really need to rethink our relationship."

Sirius reached for his lover, trying to pacify his lover. "That's not what I meant."

"I think you better discover what you mean before we try this again." Remus turned and left the house.

* * *

It was almost teatime and Sirius lay in his bed alone. Remus was out on Order business. Not that it would have made a difference since they hadn't shared a bed for the past six weeks.

Remus insisted that Sirius needed to think, but what was there to think? He and Severus rarely saw each other, mostly during Order meetings. They had started to speak more, as Severus told him about Harry's progress, but that wasn't the beginning of a relationship by any means. And Remus, he had always loved Remus. No amount of introspection would change that.

He was tired. He was ready to leave when he heard the mirror softly chime. Sirius knew that only he and Harry could hear that sound. He picked up the magical object. The fog disappeared and Harry's face appeared.

"What's wrong, Harry? Everything all right?"

"I'm fine, Sirius." Harry turned the mirror for a moment. "This is weird. Anyway, I wanted to let you know that something happened with Snape this afternoon. Dumbledore and Pomphrey were levitating him. They took him to his room, not the infirmary. There were students around so everyone knows already."

Sirius nodded. "Thanks, Harry. Go back to your friends now and I'll let you know if I learn anything."

Sirius put his jacket on, slipped the mirror in the inside pocket, just in case, and apparated as close to the castle as he dared. Mindful that some of the students would recognise his animagus form, he cast a spell to modify the way people saw him and walked into Hogwarts.

The wards protecting Severus's private room weren't active and Sirius simply walked in. The school nurse and Dumbledore were the only people present and he ended the spell.

"What are you doing here, Sirius? You know how dangerous it is."

Sirius ignored the Headmaster and kept his eyes on the unconscious form on the bed. "What happened to him?"

"We don't know," Pomphrey said.

Sirius looked disbelieving at the Headmaster. "You don't know. So where did you find him? How?"

"We have ways to keep in touch when he is called," Dumbledore explained. "I also cast a locator spell on him every time he leaves the school. When he didn't report on schedule, I found him."

Sirius moved closer to the bed. He put a hand on Severus's forehead. The Slytherin was on fire, even the cool temperature of the dungeon wasn't helping. "Where?"

"He was lying in the middle of a field. He was unconscious." Dumbledore's voice was sad.

"I tried every revelations spell I can think, but I detected nothing wrong with him," Pomphrey noted. "There is no magic, no injuries, nothing that can explain why he's unconscious."

Sirius snorted. "Maybe you should ask the Headmaster. I'm sure he has some ideas on the subject." Ignoring the looks he was getting, Sirius got a knife from Severus's impressive collection. He sat on the bed, resting against the headboard. He propped Severus up, until the unconscious man rested against his chest. Then, he stared at Albus.

"Poppy, please leave us alone," he ordered, eyes on the animagus.

"But Headmaster-"

"Trust me, Poppy." Albus waited until the nurse left the room. "What are you planning to do?"

"What you should have done the moment you found him. You know he can't stay under direct sunlight for extended periods of time. He won't get better until he feeds." Sirius slashed a wrist and brought it to Severus's lips.

Sirius waited, but got no reaction. He dipped a finger on his own blood and wet Severus's lips. The Slytherin moaned and Sirius used this to push his bloodied finger inside Severus's mouth. "Drink, Severus. You remember? We did this when we were kids. We were flying and I fell. Broke my ankle, I did. You stayed with me, in the middle of nowhere"

Dulled by the words and preternatural instincts, Severus began to suck. "That's good, Sev. It was sunny that day and you passed out, remember? When they found us, they wouldn't allow me to stay with you, but I sneaked in."

Sirius sensed someone else in the room. He raised his eyes and met Remus's amber orbs staring back at him. Sirius smiled at his lover, while he brushed Severus's hair. "Your father didn't want to tell anyone, but Mother knew. She's the one who told me to give you my blood. She convinced everyone to leave you alone in the room and that's when you fed."

Severus's eyes fluttered open. He grabbed the arm in front of him and pull it closer, drinking greedily, wanting to consume the essence of life.

"That's enough." Dumbledore pulled Sirius's arm away.

Severus opened his eyes and hissed, ready to attack the person who had stopped him. Sirius closed his arms around the Slytherin. "It's all right, Severus. You're fine now."

"What happened?" Severus cleared his throat.

"We were hoping you could tell us." Albus gently patted Severus's arm.

"The Dark Lord wanted to punish me for...the mission had gone wrong the night before, but..." Severus ran his fingers though his hair. "I can't remember."

"You'll remember. Your body needs to process the blood you ingested," Remus said quietly.

For the first time, Severus truly focused on his surrounding. Sirius was holding him and Severus could still smell the blood. He unconsciously licked his lips. "You shouldn't have."

"I think we're even now. You gave your blood to bring me back, I gave you mine." Sirius spoke gently, never releasing the Slytherin.

"You already had, a long time ago," Severus answered weakly.

"Yeah, I did, and I'd do it again. I'm not letting you die. Now, rest." Severus nodded as Sirius got up. The Slytherin settled on his pillow and promptly fell asleep.

"He'll probably sleep a good eight hours, something he never does." Sirius sighed. "Make sure he doesn't stay in the sun for the next week or so. Mother insisted that he should stay in complete darkness for a few days, but I don't think it's really necessary."

"Thank you." Dumbledore smiled gratefully.

Sirius nodded. "I'll be going now. Remus, are you coming?"

"Yes." Remus stared at his friend. He could sense Sirius's uneasiness. When they reach the house, Remus decided not to leave Sirius alone, but followed him to his room.

"If you're here for one of your sermons, I'm not in the mood, Rem." Sirius slumped on the bed.

"I wasn't planning on it, but I could always rise to the occasion," Remus joked.

"That's all right. I wouldn't want to inconvenience you." Sirius covered his eyes with his arm and bent a knee. Remus was reminded of how he had found Snape in the same position, talking to Sirius not too long ago.

"Are you all right?"

"No. I got there and they were just standing around. He could have died and they did nothing."

"He's okay now. You helped him." Remus sat on the bed and Sirius turned to face him. "You care for him."

Sirius thought about that statement. "Now that I don't feel that I have to hate him, I guess I'm remembering how close we used to be, before Hogwarts, before James, and before you, but..." Sirius ran his thumb over Remus's lips. "It doesn't mean that I don't love you anymore."

"Do you love me or the memory of what we had?" Remus asked sadly.

"Doesn't this apply to my relationship with Severus as well? We were friends when we were children. We spent all our adult life hating each other."

"Maybe it does. That's the reason I want you to really discover what you want."

"I want to kiss you," Sirius whispered.

Remus closed his eyes and gave in. He knew this was wrong. He shouldn't, but it felt so good to be in Sirius's arms again. And a simple kiss wouldn't hurt. The kiss ended, but Sirius's lips travelled over his body. Soon, he was on his back, naked and powerless under Sirius's ministrations. 

Sirius was gentle, taking his time, arousing his lover, preparing him with care. It felt so good to be buried inside Remus's body after such long time. He rocked both of them to completion, never seeing the tears in Remus's eyes.

* * *

Severus raised his eyes and sighed. "I thought I told you I didn't want to talk to you."

"Yes, you did. Since I couldn't argue my point in front of the others, I decided to follow you back to Hogwarts," Remus said as he walked inside the Potions lab and sat in front of Severus.

"Oh, joy! Please make it quick and leave me alone." The only sign of Severus's anger was the way he banged the door of the cupboard when he went to obtain some ingredients he needed.

"It's about Sirius," Remus started. "I think he should be with you."

Severus dropped everything on his worktable and stared at the werewolf. "You have finally gone mad. These transformations have afflicted your brain and you've become incapable of rational thought. Because if that isn't the case, then you're here with one of your childish games and I will kill you this time," Severus said in a monotone.

"I'm neither mad nor playing anything. I..." Remus licked his lips while he thought about what he was going to say. In his head, he would have told Severus to be with Sirius and the Slytherin would have happily agreed. However, Severus wasn't following the script in Remus's head. He finally settled on, "He'll be happier with you."

"You're serious, aren't you?" Severus crossed his arms and waited for a reply.

Remus chuckled. "Forgetting the obvious joke, yes, I'm being serious."

"Why? He loves you. He has loved you since we were in school. What has brought this on?"

"I know he loves me, but...When he looks at me, I see sadness. He remembers everything he suffered and lost. When he looks at you, I see the old Sirius, the mischievous boy who entertained the Gryffindors. It's like...like he recaptures his childhood," Remus tried to explain.

"That's all it is: the past. Sirius should be-"

They were startled when a Galleon landed between them. "Maybe you should toss a coin and see who wins. Or lose. I'm not sure how you two see it."

"Sirius, we were..."

"I know what you were doing, Remus. You were trying to direct my life. I'm sick and tired of people deciding for me." Sirius slammed the door shut and walked inside.

"You shouldn't be here. It's dangerous," Severus said calmly.

"It's dangerous? That's all you have to say?" Sirius was losing his patience. He had not expected this when he had followed Remus. He had known that his lover was planning something, but he had no idea that Remus was having a meeting to determine their future.

"What do you want me to say? Your lover comes here, tells me that I should just take his place and now you're here throwing money. Excuse me if I don't take either of you too seriously."

"Of course, you never did take me seriously. It took me almost killing you for you to listen to me. And you..." Sirius turned to face Remus. "How could you do this? I thought we were more than lovers. We are friends, and you go behind my back and pull this. You know, at the moment, I don't want to see either of you." Sirius turned around and left.

"That went well," Severus commented.

"He'll calm down. He always does," Remus noted.

"He's right. It's his life and he should make the decisions. You can't do it for him." Severus looked intensely at the werewolf.

"I know, but...I just want what's best for him."

"You might disagree on that. Trust him to know what's good for him."

"I don't have a choice, do I?" Remus left meekly.

* * *

Two days later, Snape was at 12 Grimmauld Place for another meeting. When he was ready to go, Lupin stopped him. "How is Sirius?"

Severus scowled. "How should I know? I haven't seen him since the other night."

"But...hasn't he been with you?" Remus went from sad to worried.

"Excuse me? Why would..." Severus shook his head. "Let's go somewhere we can talk." 

Severus dragged Lupin to the sitting room. Without waiting for Remus to close the door, he said, "You mean to say that he hasn't been here? Bloody idiots! Why didn't you tell Albus?"

"I thought he was staying with you," Remus said in a whisper. "I didn't want to interfere."

"What? Are you crying now?" Severus said impatiently.

"No, of course not, I'm...just worried. Where is he?"

"Just about anywhere. Thinking has never been his strong point." Severus sighed. 

"You should go look for him." Severus turned surprised when he heard Mrs. Black's voice. She had travelled through the portraits and reached the man she considered her son-in-law. "You were the only one who could find him."

Remus was amazed to see the crazy woman talk in such a rational manner, he was also surprised to hear the affection in Severus's voice when he answered.

"That was a long time ago, Mrs. Black. I doubt I would know where to start," Severus answered politely.

The woman laughed. "You could probably use one of those maps you used to make in your quest to find Slytherin's lost wand."

Severus laughed as well. "I hadn't thought of those in a long time."

"I've saved what you and Sirius used to make. I never had any hope for him, but I prayed that you could bring him back to us. Maybe, you should show your friend. Kreacher assures me that they are still hidden in your room, in your hiding place."

Severus smiled. "I think I will. Thank you, Mrs. Black. Come along, Lupin."

"You had your own room here?" Remus asked while they walked.

"It's a guest room, but...my father and I didn't get along too well, and things got worse after I was turned. I was happier spending my time here."

Remus wished that he could read the other wizard better. Everything Snape said was veiled with a tone of indifference. 

"Here, we are." Severus walked inside, with Remus at his heel. He knelt near the bed and spelled a plank lose. He grabbed a box and enlarged it. "I knew how to cast spells even before school and this house was warded, so I never got in trouble with the ministry," Severus explained before Remus asked.

Severus began to take out parchments. "These were our maps. We were going to find all the secrets of the wizarding world. With Slytherin's wand, we were going to turn our families into our loyal subjects."

"You had strange families." Remus crouched down, next to Severus. "Although your maps are kind of cute."

Severus glared at him. "We weren't cute. We were trying to enslave everyone around us, except he didn't need a wand. He just needed his charms."

"That he did, although he could be a right prick as well."

"Still is, for that matter. People are willing to forgive him. People who are not like our families." Severus put down the maps. "He was lucky to have found you."

"Yeah, right! The werewolf, the dark creature."

"That was not a big problem. He was betrothed to a dark creature, or have you forgotten? No, he was lucky. He found the sweet Gryffindor boy, the prefect that no one hated, not even the Slytherins."

"You hated me," Remus pointed out.

"I was jealous. December 3rd, 1975, I was ready to kill you."

Remus frowned. "What did I do to you?"

"To me? Nothing, but the night before..."

"It was the first time Sirius and I made love."

"Yes, and Sirius wasted no time to let me know." Severus wiped his hand over his trousers. "I wasn't sure who to kill first. In the end, I did nothing, but I still wouldn't annul the betrothal."

Remus's temper flared, but he tried to calm down, knowing that it wasn't Snape's fault. "I'm sorry. He shouldn't have..."

"Of course not, but Sirius doesn't always do what he should. I knew more about your sex lives than the people with whom you shared a room." Severus turned and faced the other wizard. "After a time, I didn't know if I cared more about having my old friend back, or protecting you from him."

Remus almost choked. "You, what?"

Severus shrugged. "I know I'm insane. I never pretended to be otherwise, but...up until he turned 16, we would return to this house when school was over and he would talk to me about you and Pettigrew and Potter. I felt I knew you and I liked the person he was describing."

Remus was at a loss. "I never knew."

"Of course, you didn't. I would never come between the two of you," Severus said impatiently. "Then, you go and do something so stupid as to push him away."

Remus smiled. "You must have been quite a challenge for the Sorting Hat. You're more loyal then a Hufflepuff, smarter than a Ravenclaw, slyer than a Slytherin and braver than a Gryffindor."

"Are you mocking me?" Severus asked annoyed.

Remus shook his head. "You are a wonderful person, Severus Snape, even if you do your best to hide it. I'm glad that Sirius had you as a friend." Remus went on all four and leaned toward Severus. He gently kissed him on his cheek.

"Am I interrupting anything?" Sirius stared at the two wizards with a mix of amusement, curiosity and anger.

Severus and Remus turned to stare at Sirius. Severus was the first to recover. "Where have you been you idiotic, irresponsible, brainless Gryffindor?"

"I missed you, too, Severus. Remus. So, what are you doing?" Sirius was curious to learn how they had ended up with Remus kissing Severus, albeit in a very chaste way.

Severus showed him the box. "Your mother and Kreacher saved it. I was showing Remus our maps."

"Yes, we were true Dark lords in the making," Sirius answered sarcastically as he sat on the floor next to the two other men. "I needed to think," Sirius spoke in the silence. "I was really angry with both of you. Then, I realised that you both have more important reasons to hate me."

"And..." Remus looked at Sirius, hoping for a clue of what the other man was thinking.

"And I returned here. Rem, I don't know what you want me to say. I love you and you don't think it's enough."

"I just want you to be happy." Remus smiled.

"I _am_ happy." Sirius's lips touched Remus lovingly. They kept staring at each other, well after they broke the contact. The ruffle of robes brought them back to reality. "Where are you going?" asked Sirius.

"I'm not a child anymore," came the enigmatic reply from Severus.

* * *

Remus lay on the bed, his head on Sirius's chest. "I can't believe it's Christmas already."

"Yeah," Sirius answered distractedly as he played with Remus's hair.

"You miss him, don't you?" Remus whispered.

"Who?"

"Nice try, Padfoot, but you know I'm talking about Severus." Remus raised his head and looked at Sirius. "Since that day, he's only said 'hello', 'goodbye', 'here's the potion', 'drink it promptly'."

"That's two sentences more than what he has said to me." Sirius sighed. "Yeah, I guess I miss him. Either as a friend or as an enemy, he's always been part of my life. It just feels wrong."

Remus propped himself on an elbow. "It's strange. I know we can rely on him, but I actually miss his comments, his sarcasm. That...that almost invisible smile that tells you that he thinks you have a brain as opposed to every other imbecile in the room."

Sirius laughed. "Yeah, he's good at making you feel useless, but when he thinks you're right, his eyes brightens and you can almost feel his approval."

Remus shook his head. "We sound like two teenagers with a crush."

Sirius raised Remus's chin with two fingers. "You know I love you, don't you?"

"I know, but..."

They were startled by the knock on the door. "Can I come in?"

Remus jumped off the bed and opened the door. "Severus? Is everything okay?"

"I need to speak to Sirius, if you don't mind," Severus said sterilely.

Remus opened the door and gestured him to come in. He refrained to note that it was seven o'clock on Christmas morning. 

"What is it?" Sirius asked curiously.

"A few hours ago, Pettigrew was arrested by the Aurors. I've supplied the Veritaserum and Kingsley is making sure that nothing happens to him while he's in custody. Albus is confident that your legal situation should be clarified promptly."

Sirius jumped on the bed. "I'm going to be free. I'm going to be free." He jumped off and hugged the Slytherin. "Thank you for letting me know."

Severus stood frozen as Sirius kissed him. It wasn't a friendly kiss, either. Sirius had shoved his tongue in Severus's mouth and was making a thorough inspection. 

Slowly, Severus stopped thinking and he closed his arms around the other man. He began sucking on Sirius's tongue, forgetting why this shouldn't be possible. Then, he heard a noise from somewhere and he pulled back. 

When he opened his eyes, amber irises were fixed on him from behind Sirius. "I'm sorry..." Severus whispered.

Remus smiled. "You shouldn't be." His fingers ghosted over Severus's cheek. "We missed you."

Severus frowned. "I have no idea what you're babbling on. I was here two days ago."

Sirius kissed Severus's jaw, before saying, "You're not stupid. You know what Rem is trying to tell you."

Remus traced Severus's frown with his finger. "You've avoided us and we don't like that."

"I'm sorry if I didn't accommodate you," Severus answered sarcastically.

Sirius groaned. "Don't get your knickers in a twist. We're not trying to insult you."

"We..." Remus looked at Sirius. "We really haven't spoken about this, but...I guess we both want you...in our bed."

Severus looked at the two of them calmly, before stepping away. "I don't know if this is some kind of celebration or you two are just bored, but I'll have to decline. Goodbye." 

The two Gryffindors watched him leave. Remus hid his face in the nook of Sirius's neck. Sirius hugged him and kissed his head.

"I bollocksed it up," Remus whispered.

"You're one step ahead of me. I didn't even know there was something to bollocks up."

Remus raised his head and laughed. "Don't worry, when you find Severus in our bed, you'll start to realise what's going on."

* * *

Sometimes, he hated being a vampire. Not for the reasons people would say, but for the fact that he couldn't get drunk. Instead, Severus sat in his room, nursing a cup of tea that he would never drink.

The wards rang as someone entered his private room. He didn't turn to see who it was. "I'm fine, Albus. You can go to the party and no, I'm not coming."

"You never told us that you are responsible for Peter's capture."

Severus was shocked to hear Lupin's voice. He recovered quickly. "If I recall correctly, I had a tongue shoved down my throat before I could give you any details."

Sirius smiled. "Yeah, that was much better than the details."

Severus resisted the urge to roll his eyes. "Better, indeed. Why are you here?"

"We wanted to thank you. In person. And apologise if we insulted you in any way." They had decided that Remus was going to do all the talking, knowing Sirius's tact.

"You're welcome and you didn't insult me. Now, you can leave." Severus leaned against the couch and ignored them.

Sirius nodded in Severus's direction. Remus acknowledged him and he went to sit next to the Slytherin, while Sirius sat in front of him, on the coffee table.

"Still here, I see."

"Why were you so upset?" Remus put a hand on Severus's knee. "We weren't joking. It wasn't a prank."

"I know, but..." Severus frowned. "You two will be my death."

Sirius laughed. "Yeah, but what a way to go."

Remus swatted Sirius's thigh and glared at him. "What is it, Severus?"

"I can't have sex with you, either of you." Severus got up and stood in a corner, surrounded by the shadows. "To have you for one night and then live the rest of my life without you...I'm sorry I can't do it."

"Who is 'you'?" Remus asked softly.

"You, him, either of you. I don't even know anymore." Severus scowled when he saw matching grins on their faces.

Remus approached him. "It's not for one night. We talked about it and...we both want you in our bed and our lives. If you want us, that is."

"Have you completely lost your minds?" Severus asked with a raised eyebrow.

"Look, I know I promised Remus to keep my mouth shut since I can't seem to say the right thing, but..." Sirius stalked toward them. "I don't know if this is love, but I want to be with you and so does Rem. Do you have a reason to object? Other than what people think?" Sirius took a deep breath. "Because you know we are not what people consider proper: a vampire and Death Eater, a werewolf, and a convict from a Dark magic family. I say sod society."

"You're serious about..." Severus for once couldn't find the words. "...whatever this is?"

"We're not promising eternity, to you or each other," Remus confessed. "Just friendship and warmth."

Severus smiled. "Warmth to a vampire, that's quite an offering."

Sirius framed his face and looked into those bottomless eyes. "Then say yes."

Severus grabbed him and pulled him closer. A hand behind Sirius's back, the other behind the Gryffindor's head until not even air passes between their bodies. Severus bit Sirius's lip and lapped at the few droplets of blood. "Yes," he said once the wound closed itself.

"Bed would be nice." Remus pushed them toward the other room.

"The werewolf seems impatient," Severus remarked.

Sirius pressed a hand on Severus's crotch. "The vampire seems to be in a similar state."

"At least, I can control myself," Severus answered back.

"Are you two going to fight on everything? Because I'm thinking I've got a better chance to be shagged if I go somewhere else," Remus said with mock annoyance.

Sirius grinned. He grabbed Remus and carried him over his shoulder. 

"Put me down, you idiot." Remus slapped Sirius's arse, but he was laughing.

Sirius threw Remus on the bed. "Somewhere else, my arse. I'm going to be buried so deep you'll taste me."

"Promises, promises." Remus smiled contently. Then, he noticed Severus standing in the doorway. "Severus?"

Severus shook his head as he took his robe off. "It's almost sinful to come between you two."

Sirius smirked. "I was thinking more along the lines of me being in the middle."

Severus laughed, a rare occurrence for him. "You truly are an idiot, but I believe we can satisfy your request."

"Good, that means we can get rid of our clothes." Remus took his wand and spelled their clothes away.

Sirius winked at Severus. "He's good to have around. Remus spent our fifth year learning spells that could help during sex."

"Hey, you're the one who got the book from the Restricted Section," Remus answered.

"Talk, talk, talk." Severus accioed his wand and cast an incantation.

"Fuck! What was that?" Sirius frowned.

"That's me making sure that you're ready when I slam inside, which will happen whether you keep blathering or not." 

Remus got up and licked Severus's nipple. He began biting it, only to soothe it with his tongue again. When Severus moaned, he pushed away and said, "I knew it would be interesting to have sex with a Slytherin."

"Bloody tease!" Severus kissed the werewolf, while reaching blinding to touch Sirius.

Sirius stood by, his hand on his cock, fisting himself. Shit, he had never expected that this would be so erotic. His Remus, with his tanned skinned and muscular body was melting in the tautness of Severus's body. 

As if knowing that they were being watched, they both turned to stare at the animagus. "Need a hand?" Remus asked teasingly.

"Nah, I'll take your arse."

Severus moved behind Sirius and pressed his erection against Sirius's crack. Remus came to face Sirius, his hands travelling over Sirius's chest. Severus began nibbling from neck to ear. "Anybody teach you about foreplay?" Severus whispered.

Sirius's head rolled back, giving Severus more room. Remus had taken him on hand, and was pumping him slowly. "God, please, foreplay later, fuck now."

"Is he always so impatient?" Severus asked Remus.

"Mostly," Remus replied before leaning over Sirius to kiss the Slytherin.

Sirius groaned at the sight. Merlin, he needed to get these two in bed, so they could fuck properly. He grabbed Remus's arse and his fingers slipped between the werewolf's arse cheeks. Remus pushed his hips forwards and their erections rubbed against each other.

"Bed," Remus and Sirius said in unison.

Severus rolled his eyes but followed them. He watched as Sirius gently sheathed himself inside Remus's body. It was so natural, Remus's body relaxing around his lover's cock with ease.

"Love you." Sirius kissed his lover on the forehead. Then, he turned. "Sev?"

"I'm here." Severus crawled on the bed. He kissed Sirius's shoulder as his fingers pressed against Sirius's hole. "The spell should have relaxed your muscles as well as lube you." However, he pressed two fingers in and continued to massage the velvety channel.

"I'm ready, Severus." Sirius panted.

Severus teased the tight muscles of Sirius's back as he entered his new lover in one long thrust. He stilled, trying to get himself under control, but Sirius would have none of that. He pushed back, only to reverse his journey and ream into Remus again. 

"Fucking wonderful." Sirius began to move. His eyes locked with Remus's while his back was pressed against Severus's chest. He was so close, but tried to stall his orgasm. He felt Severus shift and saw him fist Remus's cock. 

The werewolf howled. "Faster." And it didn't matter to whom he was giving the order. Both of his lovers sped up, losing any semblance of rhythm. Remus was the first to come under the double assault, his cum covering his body and Severus's hand, his hole spasming around Sirius.

Sirius let out a scream as he felt Severus's come bathe his channel and came inside Remus. They collapsed on top of Remus. Their heavy breathing was the only sound in the room.

"You're heavy," Remus finally managed to say.

Severus and Sirius rolled off of their lover and Remus found himself in the middle. "This feels perfect. I don't want to move for days."

"You're forgetting the party being thrown at Sirius's home, with Potter present." For once, Severus's voice was relaxed, devoid of anger or bitterness.

"Shit." Sirius got up and began to get dress. "Come on, you lazy gits, we need to go."

Severus raised an eyebrow. "I believe I informed you at the beginning of the night that I wasn't going to any party."

"You've got to be joking. It's New Year's Eve and you plan to stay here, when you could be with us?" What had he gotten himself into? Now, he'll have to deal with Sirius _and_ Severus's temper tantrums.

"I would not be with you. I'd be skulking in a corner, glaring at everyone. That's what I do. You two go and have fun."

"You know, I hate this fucking martyr thing you've got going. Your life sucks, my life's sucks, and Remus's life sucks. Now, that we have established that our lives suck, get up or I'll tell Albus and he won't let you hide in this hole." By the end of his tirade, Sirius was dressed and eyeing the other two wizards.

Severus got up and puffed. "Fine, but don't bitch when you don't like how I'm acting."

"Severus, I've had sex with you. I don't think you've undergone a personality transplant because of it. Now, let's move it."

* * *

The party was boring, at least for Severus. He did stay in the shadows until Mrs. Black called him. 

"They've been miserable without you," she whispered.

"I doubt that. They love each other," Severus replied.

Mrs. Black snorted. "Sirius is a stubborn prat, but even he finally realised that he can't live without you."

"You always imagined things when dealing with me and Sirius, Mrs. Black."

"Oh, I didn't imagine anything. Kreacher heard them say that. He keeps an eye on them for me. Kreacher said that even the werewolf would sigh after you left the meetings without talking to them."

Severus smiled imperceptibly. "Thank you for telling me."

"Go talk to them. Just make sure to embarrass them as much as you can." She winked at the Slytherin. "I promised you I won't yell at them, but I still need my sweet revenges."

* * *

"And that's how it started. We've been together since then," Sirius concludes.

Harry chuckles as the story comes to its end.

"What is so funny, Potter?"

"Ron always said you look like a bat."

Severus scowls. "And why is that relevant at the moment?"

"Muggles believe that vampires turn into bats," Harry says while laughing.

"Leave it to you to focus on the least important thing!" Severus exclaims.

Harry shivers. "I was trying to forget the rest. Sirius, I love you like you were my father, but fathers don't tell their sons about their sex lives. I can accept anything, but please, oh please, leave the details out."

"Prude," Sirius mutters and Remus smiles.

"Yes, well, you don't want to know about my sex life, which will be inexistent if I don't leave." Harry gets up. "I'll see you later."

Remus waits until Harry closes the door. "Now that the son has left, should we engage in the sexual activities we aren't supposed to have?"

Severus snorts. "With everything you've drank, you'll never get it up."

Remus prowls toward the Slytherin and straddles his hips. "You underestimate a werewolf." He rubs his cock against Severus' crotch.

"Should we leave the mutt here?" Severus asks between kisses.

Sirius moves behind Remus, barely sitting on Severus's knees. "Don't you dare! I want to fuck you while you're inside Rem."

"Maybe we should move upstairs." And it's difficult to speak with Remus sucking on his neck.

"Why?" Sirius asks before kissing Severus.

Someone clears her throat. "Because a mother shouldn't have to see her son having sex with two men."

Sirius groans. "All right, Mother. We're going." He gets off and pulls the other two with him.

Before leaving the room, Severus turns toward the portrait. "Sorry you had to see that."

She waives a hand at him. "I always knew you and Sirius were meant to be together. I never thought a werewolf would be needed too."

"We are happy."

She nods. "I know. It doesn't mean that I'll stop yelling at them and their friends."

Severus smirks. "I wouldn't expect otherwise."

Mrs. Black watches as Severus leaves. Now, her child and the boy she had loved like a son are happy. "Amor vitam est," she murmurs as she leaves the house to visit her relatives and give her boys some privacy.


End file.
